Month: October 2017

Ep 21 – Ménage à Moi (Part 2)

Our first episode (Ménage à Moi (Part 1)) about masturbation focused on the state of masturbation in the U.S. and we interviewed a sex therapist about the cultural viewpoints on masturbation.  In this episode we talk about the history of masturbation and give our personal stories with masturbation.

 

There is a lot of interesting history on masturbation.  One of the most interesting stories we found has to do with Atum and ancient Egypt. You can learn more about the story here.  

“There was Atum, the creator God and main deity of the Egyptian pantheon, who existed by himself. He was surrounded by nothingness, so he decided to put an end to his long solitude and created the world and the rest of the Egyptian gods through masturbation. From his ejaculation emerged the first pair of twin gods, Shu (air god) and Tefnut (moisture goddess). Atum’s semen was the origin of the world, and masturbation the act of creation.” This is the myth of creation according to Egyptian cosmogony.
“Ancient Egyptians were strongly convinced that their main source of livelihood had come from Atum’s ejaculation, and it was their duty to keep it alive. Pharaohs would perform a ceremony to thank their main god, which involved masturbating at the riverbank and making sure that the semen followed the flow of the river’s waters. This was seen as a good omen and a sign of the continuing life cycle, fertility, and the universal order, which would also follow their own course.”

 

This wouldn’t be the last time we would see masturbation come up in history. Unfortunately, the next run in with masturbation would not be as sex-positive.  Lina D talks about her findings of how masturbation was perceived by society in the Victorian age.  You can read more here.  

Based on Judeo-Christian tradition, masturbation was seen as sinful, mostly due to the mandate to “be fruitful and multiply.” Since masturbation does not lead to procreation, it was frowned upon. In fact, Catholic theologian St. Thomas Aquinas believed that masturbation was a worse sin than rape, incest, and adultery, because in these other sins procreation is a possibility.

“During the Victorian age, masturbation was thought to lead to impaired morals, depression, social failure, epilepsy, tuberculosis, blindness, insanity, sterility, and early death.”

“Since masturbation was thought to be so dangerous, many “cures” were developed to eliminate its practice. Men of the time were encouraged to wear straightjacket pajamas or erection alerts to discourage handling of the penis. Some would wear a little suit of armor that would fit over the penis and testicles. Others wore a spermatorrhea ring. Available from the Sears catalogue, these rings fit along the base of the penis with spikes on its inner lining to prevent erection. As a last resort, some chronic masturbators had their foreskin stapled shut, or were castrated. In the nineteenth century, John Kellogg invented cornflakes as one part of a diet that he felt would lessen the sex drive and diminish the practice of masturbation.”

 

Westley then talks about how things have not necessarily gotten better. He tells us the Pee Wee Herman story. In 1991 he was arrested for allegedly masturbating in an X-rated movie theater. He became the object of numerous jokes, his show was pulled off the air, and his handprints and star were taken off the sidewalk of Hollywood Boulevard. In another modern day masturbation nightmare, Former U.S. Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders stated that since masturbation was safe and healthy, it should be mentioned in school health curricula. People misinterpreted her statements to say that she thought students should be taught how to masturbate. Due to public outcry, President Clinton fired her in 1994.

 

Westley, Brock, and Lina D transition to share their personal experiences with masturbation.  They talk about how they came to start masturbating.  Experiences are diverse from individual and social interactions with learning more about masturbation. However, all three co-hosts talk about their experience of not being able to turn to anyone in their household to learn more or to get their questions answered. Traditionally, in Caribbean and Latino households, masturbation is not something that is openly discussed.

 

In talking about her experience exploring masturbation, Lina D finds and discusses an interesting report from the University of Michigan’s Development and Behavior Resources program. It states that kids start discovering their genitals and self-pleasure at a very young age, on the average of 6 years young.

 

The co-hosts point out some other interesting things about masturbating for men and women.  You can read more in these articles: other reasons why women should masturbate and other reasons why men should masturbate.

 

This is the summary of the reasons the co-hosts discussed:

  1. Masturbation makes you happier
  2. Masturbation improves your sex life
  3. Masturbation prevents postmenopausal sex difficulties
  4. Some studies even suggest that the frequency of masturbation increases with a person’s frequency of intercourse, especially in women.
  5. For men, masturbation may improve a man’s fertility, as ejaculation flushes out the old, less motile sperm left behind in the urethra.
  6. Masturbation may even lower a man’s chance of getting prostate cancer.

 

Lina D, Brock, and Westley wrap up the episode by sharing their favorite to do’s when masturbating.

Ep 20 – Ménage à Moi featuring Dr. Chris Donaghue of Loveline (Part 1)

Lina D kicks off the episode by telling our listeners about the great time the team had at the NY Sex Expo September 23- 24. They all shared their highlights of the weekend and Lina D talks about the most exciting outcome- that we were able to make new friends and interview Dr. Chris Donaghue.  He is a nationally recognized sex therapist who is has teamed up with TENGA to change the conversation about masturbation. Learn more about Sex Expo here.  

Lina D talks a bit more about why No Free Drinks is excited to interview Dr. Chris and to have met the TENGA team.  She shares her point of view on why she thinks masturbation is important and Westley and Brock also give their points of view.

More about TENGA: they are a Japanese-based company focused on the betterment of sexual health and wellness, broadening the cultural acceptance of masturbation and making sexuality something everyone can enjoy. TENGA products are designed to make masturbation a more enjoyable and beneficial experience and don’t necessarily mimic the human anatomy. They believe this differentiates them and allows them to bring conversations about masturbation to the mainstream. TENGA aims to elevate the discussion around masturbation from secretive to celebratory, and enables users to bring the best tools to the party.

Brock walks us through TENGA’s United State(s) of Masturbation Survey Learn more about the survey here: http://www.unitedstatesofmasturbation.com/

Our relationship with TENGA allowed us to give you a special look into the survey results and really understand the breakout of results from an ethnicity perspective.  Here are a few of the highlights we mention in the episode:

  1. 76% of Latinos agree that masturbation is good for health (vs 65% Whites, 59% Blacks)
  2. Among those who have masturbated, Blacks (22%) are more likely to masturbate in the morning (vs. 16% Latinos, 15% Whites).
  3. Among those in a committed relationship, Latinos are the most open to talking about masturbation with their significant others (68% of Latinos vs. 56% Whites, 54% Blacks).
  4. 73% of Latinos have received sex education in school (vs. 62% Whites, 60% Blacks).
  5. Latinos in the US are a far younger audience (61% of Latinos in our sample were millennials vs. only 24% of whites and 39% of blacks who were millennials), so these points are likely to be influenced by generational differences.

 

Westley introduces Dr. Chris Donaghue. He is a Doctor of Clinical Sexology and Human Sexuality, Certified Sex Therapist, Licensed Clinical Therapist and Doctoral trained in Clinical Psychology, and continues to run his private practice out of Los Angeles. He is one out of only four hundred individuals who completed the extra training to receive his CST Credentials.

Dr. Chris specializes in individual and couples sex and marital therapy, as well as sexual compulsivity, sexual anorexia, sexual dysfunctions and non-traditional sexuality, identities and relationships. His expertise has been shared with hundreds during his lectures at University of Southern California (USC), University of California Los Angeles (UCLA), Antioch University and University of California Riverside (UCR).

He continues to lecture at leading conferences, including Catalyst Con, ASSECT Conference and for the Hazeldan Betty Ford Foundation. Dr. Chris is nationally recognized as a sex and relationship expert, and shares his expertise as the cohost of CBS’ LoveLine Podcast. Additionally, he is the featured expert on VH1’s new “The Amber Rose Show,” and regularly appears on segments including CBS’ The Doctors, WE’s Sex Box, Logo TV’s Bad Sex. He has been featured in Newsweek, National Geographic, on CNN, OWN, and Dr. Drew’s “Lifechangers,” and many more.

Dr. Chris aims to elevate the conversation around masturbation and help foster cultural acceptance. With the aid from TENGA’s 2017 United State(s) of Masturbation, a recent survey focused on masturbation behaviors and perceptions, he aims to elevate the conversation around masturbation, help foster cultural acceptance and educate on the sexual health and wellness benefits of healthy masturbation.

 

Questions for Dr. Chris:

  1. From the United States of Masturbation survey we learned that a majority of people believe that openly talking about masturbation would be beneficial to society, however of those people only 28% have even had a conversation about masturbating with a friend.  In your experience, what are some of the psychological and cultural factors that contribute to the embarrassment factor tied to talking about masturbation?
  2. What advice do you have for couples that are unbalanced when it comes to masturbation? For example, I’ve heard stories where women have caught their boyfriends masturbating and they immediately accuse them for cheating on them.
  3. The survey highlighted a lot of health related benefits to masturbating which is a starting point for breaking down the stigmas that our society has built around masturbation.  I wanted to take that a step further and discuss the benefits that masturbation can have on sexual performance and enjoyment. Can you expand upon those benefits for men and women? (I.e.  Men masturbating before sex) And can you touch on where these benefits are more psychological or scientific in nature?
  4. We all lead busy lives. What are some of your tips for people that are constantly on the go and say they don’t have the time to masturbate?
  5. Let’s talk about the gender gap and masturbation. I found it interesting that the survey found that 41% of women own a sex toy while only 24% of men own a sex toy.  But when I looked at the percentage of women that masturbate vs. men I saw that there is a gap- one data point showed that 93% of men masturbate vs. 77% of women. What are your thoughts on what drives the gap in the genders in sex toy ownership and in masturbation?
  6. Wrap up question: I’d like to close out with you telling us more about what you love about TENGA and why our listeners should be excited about what they offer?

Ep 19 – The Python of Love (Part 2)

In the second part of the Python of Love series, Westley kicks off by telling us about a few crazy things men have done with their penis and balls.  Links below.

Link 1

Link 2

Did you know that men have used their dicks to pull cars with passengers inside with their penises or balls? Did you know that even if a penis is chopped off it still works? Despite all these stories, penises are still fragile and can break so be careful not to injure it.

 

Brock and Westley discuss their doctor preferences.

 

Lina D asks Westley and Brock questions about the things women want to know about the penis:

 

  1. Do you ever sit on your balls or your dick?
  2. Are your balls different size? Do you have a favorite ball?
  3. How do you feel about your skeet skeet?
  4. What is the big deal between getting a deepthroat blow job and an average blow job?
  5. What do you do when you get a random erection?  What causes these erections to happen?
  6. What do blue balls feel like?
  7. What are things women should never do to the penis?

 

Westley, Brock, and Lina D give tips for giving head

  1. Not all tip, remember the rotation- shaft, shaft, shaft, tip
  2. Deep throating is always allowed
  3. BALLS. GET THE BALLS!

 

Other Tips for jerking/sucking/ hitting it off right

  1. Listen to him as he’ll give you verbal clues
  2. If you don’t see his eyes that’s good sign
  3. Stuttering of speech is also good
  4. Toes curling means he’s about to cum
  5. Pleasure comes from the different sensations on the penis- use your hands

 

Favorite positions for the dick

  1. Doggy style
  2. Lying down side to side
  3. Her on top for sure, ride me! Tips for riding him:
    1. Take your time
    2. Slower rhythm is actually better
    3. Fast isn’t the move for when the woman is on top- this is your chance to take control and keep the guy guessing
    4. Rhythm and timing is important, you can build up to a faster speed but take your time and don’t go straight into the fast stuff.

 

Freaky Shit & Pro tips

  1. Tell me where to come, not when to come
  2. @your_fuckboy tip shoutout
  3. Anal
  4. Change the angle that you are mounting him (arch your back, the squat position
  5. Ice
  6. Play with the balls

Ep 18 – The Python of Love (Part 1)

Brock opens the episode by taking us through the etymology of the term penis. Penis is derived from the Latin word for tail. There is also the Greek translation of phallus which means “swell.” The word later came to describe items of penile nature in Latin. You can find more here: http://io9.gizmodo.com/5966703/how-genitals-got-their-names-or-why-a-penis-is-called-a-prick

Since Lina D put Westley’s and Brock’s knowledge of the vulva to the test, they decide to flip the script and quiz her about the parts of the penis. Lina D breaks it down! They just weren’t ready.

The penis is technically broken into 3 major areas:

  1. The root or the base
  2. The body or the middle of the penis
  3. The glans or the head

The more detailed parts of the penis are:

  1. The head or Glans
  2. Corpus cavernosum: Two columns of tissue running along the sides of the penis. Blood fills this tissue to cause an erection.
  3. Corpus spongiosum: A column of sponge-like tissue running along the front of the penis and ending at the glans penis; it fills with blood during an erection, keeping the urethra — which runs through it — open.
  4. The urethra runs through the corpus spongiosum, conducting urine out of the body.

For more information on the parts of the penis visit: https://www.webmd.com/men/picture-of-the-penis#1

Other pleasure centers

  1. Testicles
  2. The male g-spot or the prostate

Circumcised vs. uncircumcised

  1. In uncircumcised men, the glans is covered with pink, moist tissue called mucosa. Covering the glans is the foreskin (prepuce).
  2. In circumcised men, the foreskin is surgically removed and the mucosa on the glans transforms into dry skin.

Lina D talks about her preference between circumcised vs. uncircumcised penises

Westley and Brock are curious about what women really think about the penis. Lina D is prepared to answer the question based on her experience and also has some stats to give a taste of what other women think.

Size doesn’t matter as much as women say they do. Follow the link for more details and stats https://www.dred.com/uk/does-size-matter/

  • 21.4% Not important
  • 67.4% Somewhat important
  • 11.2% Very important

What does matter:

  1. Girth
  2. Manscaping: Cleanliness (or at least looking well- groomed) is next to godliness too, as the study also found appearing well-trimmed ranked higher than penis size for women

Lina D also talks about her experiences with growers and showers and the struggles of discovering that the guy she was going to hook-up with had a small penis.

All men’s penises are different too.  Here is a fun read on how penises are different: (http://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/sex/a9576710/things-you-need-to-know-about-penises/)

To wrap up this episode, the NFD talk about the skeet skeet AKA semen, and if it is bad to swallow.

Semen is made up of only one percent sperm; the rest is composed of over 200 separate proteins, as well as vitamins and minerals including vitamin C, calcium, chlorine, citric acid, fructose, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium, sodium, vitamin B12, and zinc.

Westley asks Lina D what her experience has been with tasting semen and then shares what other women have said about the taste of ejaculate. Read this fun article to see all the words that have been used to describe how semen tastes: https://thoughtcatalog.com/steve-mueller/2015/11/what-does-semen-taste-like/   

At the point of ejaculation, semen travels at 28 miles per hour.