This is our intro episode. We keep it short and sweet and introduce ourselves and what you can expect from Bold & Bawdy. If you haven’t listen to us before come and get a taste of our personalities, meet Maddie, Lina D, and Westley.
Want to get up close and personal with Bold & Bawdy co-hosts? These “Meet Us” episodes give you a deeper look into who we are including our up-bringing, values, and the ish we like.
The series finale of No Free Drinks is here! In this episode we recap all of our favorite moments, topics, episodes, and listener comments. In true NFD style, we keep it real and stay telling em why we mad! Don’t forget we will be back next week, same place, same time with the season premiere of Bold & Bawdy.
It’s been a minute, but we finally bring you another listener inspired episode. We wanted to continue the conversation that started in our preview post for Ep. 42- It’s a Numbers Game on instagram. What is the difference between preferences and body shaming? Join the conversation!
In this listener inspired episode we talk about the differences between body shaming and preferences. Here is the backstory: in Episode 42: It’s a Numbers Game we talked about various dating and sex topics that have something to do with numbers. Our preview inspired a conversation on instagram, you can check it out here. We have posted a portion of the comments below too.
@Theearthmomma: I think shaming men for their dick size is the equivalent of body shaming women. There’s such a double standard when it comes to this. Men need to step it up and learn how to please women in different ways other than intercourse, AND women need to step it up and demand better lovers and stop letting toxic masculinity inside of their yonis. Accepting drunken insecure men inside of us is allowing men to be weak lovers. No more faking it when it really doesn’t feel good. No more douche bags. Women have the power to force men to step up their character. Another topic you guys have brought up that seems funny on the surface but really has way more depth to climb in to
@_nofreedrinks: @theearthmomma thanks so much for your comment! You are right that this topic has a lot more layers than we speak to in this episode. I’ve hadn’t thought about shaming dick size as the equivalent of body shaming for women. I appreciate you adding that perspective because it’s true- focusing on size is another way to objectify. I agree on your point completely about women stepping up and demanding more and not settling. -Lina D
@Alastaircunning: @theearthmomma Body shaming is obviously bad. But expressing a physical preference in a sexual partner is not inherently shaming to those who aren’t endowed with that preference. And it need not be objectifying to the fortunately endowed person either. Treat everyone like a full subjectively experiencing human being, not just a means to an end but an end in themselves, and express any preference with due sensitivity to those who don’t measure up and I think we in the ethical clear. After all, encouraging women to suppress a legitimate sexual preference is hardly a healthy way to go either…
Before we dive into the conversation in the episode we define a couple of the words that are used a lot but are seldom fully understood:
Body shaming (noun)– the action or practice of humiliating someone by making mocking or critical comments about their body shape or size
Toxic masculinity- defined by adherence to traditional male gender roles that restrict the kinds of emotions allowable for boys and men to express, including social expectations that men seek to be dominant (the “alpha male”) and limit their emotional range primarily to expressions of anger.
This instagram conversation inspired a great discussion between the NFD co-hosts. Here are some of the points we raised. Listen to the episode for more!
- Westley- “I think that when it comes to both body shaming and preferences there is a fine line between shaming and liking something about someone.”
- Maddie- “I don’t know a guys dick size till I see it so I can’t technically shame him, just saying.”
- Maddie- “There’s a difference between politely saying I no longer want to sleep with you vs. I won’t talk to you at all cause you don’t fit certain parameters. Secondly is it body shaming if I’m just saying what I find attractive? I personally prefer dark skin men, that doesn’t mean I don’t think any light skin men or men or other nationalities are attractive, I am just more sexually aroused and my interest is piqued by dark skinned men.”
- Lina D- “I am always sensitive when expressing my preferences with a new partner. I don’t want to say something that triggers a reaction, so I am never rude. I will diplomatically express my disinterest and keep it moving.”
We somehow started talking about the dick slang- we couldn’t help ourselves. Here is the link to the video we mentioned.
And finally some good reads we want to share:
Have another point of view we didn’t represent? Send us a note using our contact us form.
In this episode we have fun with numbers and share our points of view on various topics in dating, relationships, and sex that touch an arithmetic. Math wasn’t your favorite subject? No problem! We still want you to listen and share what you think.
Do you think dating is a numbers game? The co-hosts have a conversation on their points of view. Lina D talks about how dating apps have made it super easy to connect with people and makes it so much easier to fall into a trap of just going on dates to go on dates. Maddie talks about how to hack online dating, a TED talk that highlights how dating is a numbers game.
Are there any rules you have for yourself that are tied to a magic number? The co-hosts talk about their own rules, and we would love to hear yours.
Do you have any number related topics that are off limits to discussion with a partner? We talk about body count, number of exes, and length of relationships.
Lastly we talk about how numbers shouldn’t be used to determine someone’s value.
We continue to celebrate the women that inspire us, and this week we dedicate this episode to our mommas! Whether you consider your mom your best friend, or whether she drives you crazy, OR both, moms hold a special place in our hearts. They have shaped who we are and not matter what we always remember their advice. Get to know us a bit better by listening to what momma always said to us.
Moms always give their advice and opinions on how they see life. Whether its cultural norms around dating, relationships, or career-related, these points of view were beaten into our heads. Some advice we took and it shaped who we are today, other pieces of advice we chose not to and it was okay because we are still amazing people!
Each co-host talks about their cultural background and highlights most important things their families brought up when they were growing up. Some of the topics that were the most popular topics where: dating & sex, gender roles, and career.
When it came to dating, relationships, and sex our mothers always turned to religion to explain why this topic shouldn’t even be worth our attention. And the most common thing momma said, “you have to wait until you are married.”
We discuss gender roles, and how actions from family reinforced certain gender stereotypes. Maddie describes how Haitian culture is very patriarchal, and that women were taught to be domestic. Momma always said, “no man will ever marry you if you can’t [insert domestic activity here].”
When it came to careers we learned that the approach between our families varied. For Lina D, momma always said, “education is key.” Whereas Westley and Maddie would always hear that they could only pursue a career that “brought honor to the family.”
We get into other nitty gritties of our childhood and what it was like growing up Latinx and Haitian. To close the episode we talk about our favorite pieces of advice that we would keep and pass down to younger siblings, friends, future children, and other loved ones.
The episode opens with an introduction of the new No Free Drinks co-host! You have heard them speak before, and they were a fan favorite. We are lucky to have this person back as a full-time co-host. No spoilers here so make sure you listen to the episode. After a re-introduction, our new co-host talks about the reasons they joined No Free Drinks.
And since the release of this episode coincides with Valentine’s Day, Lina D couldn’t help but to spend a little bit of time talking about the Hallmark holiday. Lina D grew up being a fan of el día del amor or the dia of love, and talks about what the day has meant to her. The rest of the NFD crew shares their experiences with Valentine’s Day and their views on the day.
So let’s talk about first dates! What does a first date look like anyway?
So let’s talk about first kisses! Whether you gave or were given the first kiss, it seems to be one of those experiences that can’t be forgotten.
So let’s talk about first time having sex! We save you the details of our experiences, but we do share the interesting stats about how teens are now more responsible when it comes to having sex: You can read the full article by CBS News.
The highlight is that the percentages of teenagers having sex have dropped since 1988. 42% of women aged 15 to 19 report having sex at least once; in 1988 that number was 51%. 44% of men in the same age group report having sex at least once; in 1988 that number was 60%. Another interesting point is that very few teens had their first experience of sexual intercourse with someone they “just met.” Only 2 percent of teen girls and 7 percent of teen boys reported doing so. Instead, nearly 75% of women and 51% of men reported that their first partner was someone that they were “going steady” with.
What are some of the factors that have led to more responsible behavior with having sex for the first time? We think it is closely related with how much more open we are as a society now than 20 years ago. But if you compare the U.S. to countries in Europe you will see that the U.S. is still more socially conservative. Being open and talking about sex has tangible benefits and there are places that do it better than the U.S. We highlight some of our favorites, and you can also read more in this article, “5 Countries That Do It Better: How Sexual Prudery Makes America a Less Healthy and Happy Place.”
This article highlights that countries that embrace the things that social conservatives detest- comprehensive sex education, pro-gay legislation, nude or topless beaches, legal or decriminalized prostitution, adult entertainment- tend to be countries that have less sexual dysfunction than the United States. If you compare the sexual attitudes in the United States to sexual attitudes in Western Europe, it becomes evident that there is a strong correlation between social conservatism and higher rates of teen pregnancy, abortion and sexually transmitted diseases. More information is in the article but you can find the country highlights we talk about below:
- Netherlands: Sex education starts at age 4, and it is a part of an educational event called “Spring Fever.” It is a week in primary schools focused on sex ed classes. 4 year olds learn about sexuality, 8 year olds learn about self-image and gender stereotypes, and 11 year olds discuss sexual orientation and contraceptive options.
- Switzerland: Sex ed starts as early as kindergarten. Children ages 5-13 learn about “good touch/bad touch” and teachers are allowed to answer questions in an age appropriate manner. From age 13 up the conversation shifts include discussions on the actual act, STI’s pregnancy, etc. Prostitution is legalized and federally regulated; besides your standard escort service and strip clubs there are sex clubs, massage parlors and sex boxes (designated areas where you can drive-in and get serviced)- this is an area where the U.S. has not become progressive.
- France: In France, sex education has been part of school curricula since 1973. Schools are expected to provide 30 to 40 hours of sex education, and pass out condoms, to students in grades 8 and 9. In January 2000, the French government launched an information campaign on contraception with TV and radio spots and the distribution of five million leaflets on contraception to high school students.
- Germany: As a country, they support comprehensive sex-ed programs, legal prostitution and same-sex civil unions before legalizing gay marriage in July of 2017. Sex ed classes can start as early as when the child is 5 years old (Berlin), some will wait a little longer starting in the 1st grade but at 8-9 years old, all children will have started the classes. They cover the process of growing up, bodily changes during puberty, emotions involved, the biological process of reproduction, sexual activity, partnership, homosexuality, unwanted pregnancies and the complications of abortion, the dangers of sexual violence, child abuse, and sex-transmitted diseases. It is comprehensive enough that it sometimes also includes information on sex positions and the correct usage of contraception.
Let’s talk about other firsts! The NFD co-hosts share stories on their first time having an orgasm, first time buying a sex toy, and first oral experiences- giving and receiving.
💈The Barber Shop is here💈
Barber shop: n. hang out area to get your haircut and talk to other men about your problems, listen to good music, and if you go to a good barber shop laugh up a storm.
Listen to our guests Neeko and Chedd shoot their barber shop talk with Westley and Brock. They talk who pays💸, masturbation✌🏽, dating apps old and new🤳🏾, and more! This is an episode you don’t want to miss.
Chicas Chat is here‼
Chica: n. Spanish word used for badass women you are proud to have in your circle
No Free Drinks is psyched to drop this episode! Listen to our guests Ari @theitis_yall, Jess, and Maddie share their points of view on the real shit that just happens. Lina D and our guests discuss their differing points of view on celibacy, who pays, sex toys, masturbation, basic texting, and more! This is an episode you don’t want to miss.
It all started with a listener question, “Are you open to dating a stripper?” That question got us thinking about a deeper topic that is rooted in our decision making when we date and vet people- deal breakers. In this episode, Westley, Brock, and Lina D discuss the most common deal breakers in dating and talk about the differences between preferences and deal breakers. Make sure you know the difference, or you could be limiting your dating pool!
In this fan question inspired episode, Brock, Lina D, and Westley share their experiences when introducing their significant others to their families for the first time. Things do get dicey when certain family members learn that a friend is more than a friend, or when cultural barriers are met. Lina D gives her thoughts on essential guidelines to keep in mind when meeting Latino parents.