Mental Health

Self care is important. In these episodes we provide practical advice to help manage your own mental & emotional health.

Ep 41 – Me Too: No More Domestic Violence

The next episode of our Me Too series is here. The beginning of this year has highlighted that domestic violence is sadly still plaguing homes. We wanted to talk about the different ways domestic violence takes a toll on homes and individuals and highlight how pervasive of an issue this is across society.

We reference a video and a movie in this episode, if you listened and want to check it out, the links to view it or learn more are here:

What Would You Do – Domestic Violence and Abuse in PUBLIC! (Social Experiment)

Crazy in Alabama

 

We open the episode by discussing the different types of domestic violence and sharing some of our experiences.

The different types of abuse:

  • Physical: You may be experiencing physical abuse if your partner has done or repeatedly does any of the following tactics of abuse
  • Emotional: You may be in an emotionally/verbally abusive relationship if you partner exerts control through
  • Sexual:  Sexually abusive methods of retaining power and control include an abusive partner:
  • Reproductive: Reproductive coercion is a form of power and control where one partner strips the other of the ability to control their own reproductive system. It is sometimes difficult to identify this coercion because other forms of abuse are often occurring simultaneously.
  • Financial: Economic or financial abuse is when an abusive partner extends their power and control into the area of finances. This abuse can take different forms, including an abusive partner
  • Digital: Digital abuse is the use of technologies such as texting and social networking to bully, harass, stalk or intimidate a partner. Often this behavior is a form of verbal or emotional abuse perpetrated online. You may be experiencing digital abuse if your partner:

 

We found a visual that helps understand the various dimensions of abuse and how someone could be experiencing either one or more types at the same time. Visit the link to learn more.

We take a look at domestic violence trends:

  • Globally, men who are exposed to domestic violence as children are 3-4 times more likely to perpetrate acts of domestic violence as adults than men who weren’t.
  • Homicide is one of the leading causes of death for women aged ≤44 years.* In 2015, homicide caused the death of 3,519 girls and women in the United States. Rates of female homicide vary by race/ethnicity (1), and nearly half of victims are killed by a current or former male intimate partner

We also cover off on some of the biased points of view that are held when it comes to domestic violence:

  • Societies willful ignorance: “It’s understandable what she means there, but perhaps it’s time our society started to think of physical abuse, possessiveness and men’s entitlement to act in those ways toward women as terroristic, violent and radical.”
  • Men are victims too: We found how limited resources are for men that have experienced domestic violence. There are a lot of staggering facts, and we spend time talking about this topic because it is important to note that domestic violence can impact anyone and all victims should all be able to get help. Read more here. We highlighted the ones we found most surprising below.
  • Almost half (48.8 percent) of all men have dealt with some sort of psychological aggression by an intimate partner. This number is equal to women at 48.4 percent.
  • Nearly 1 in 18 men have been stalked by an intimate partner to the point they were scared for their life or safety or the lives or safety of loved ones.
  • An estimated 10.4 percent or approximately 11.7 million men in the U.S. have reported having an intimate partner get or attempt to get pregnant when the male partner didn’t agree to it.
  • About 2 in 5 gay and bisexual men will experience intimate partner violence in their lifetime.

It is important to know that you can get help, and as someone that wants to make a change, know you can also donate your time to help others.

  • There are national and local organizations to get help if you or someone you know are victims of domestic violence
  • If you’re not most of these organizations are always looking for volunteers or donations so if you have the time please give your time or money

Ep 32 – All Balance

We start with recapping all the episodes in the wiser you toolkit:

  • Kicked off the year giving you advice on how you can change your approach to dating with Episode 29 Date to Win
  • A key for to establishing successful relationships which is hardly ever talked about, is being honest with your partner about expectations for the future. In Episode 30 Crash and Burn we talk about how to have a plan in the event your new partnership- cohabitation, domestic partnership, or marriage- goes south.
  • And last week we dedicated an episode to empower our community by giving them more actionable ways to manage their mental health in Episode 31 Woosah and Flow
  • If you haven’t checked these out yet make sure to do so!

 

Also have news to share which is directly tied to achieving balance.

 

We dive into our advice for achieving balance in your relationship

First things first- avoid compromising on the following: independence, other relationships, interests, self-esteem, and goals & aspirations.

Honesty is key. Be honest with yourself and ask yourself the following questions:

  • Do I actually want to date (generally speaking or a specific person) or am I using my busy schedule as an excuse? We covered this in episode 29 so let’s assume this person already wants to date
  • If I have a regular 9-5 job am I okay with dating someone who works long days, weekends, and/or is on call so he/she doesn’t have lots of time to see me?
  • Vice versa, am I willing to put in the work to date someone with a much freer schedule than mine?
  • Is location important to me? I.e. different city/ boro, state, long distance

Be honest with your partner and make sure you:

  • Have a conversation around time and commitments
  • The amount of time you can/want to devote to ‘us’ time
  • The amount of time your partner wants for ‘us’ time
  • Agree on a general plan for the amount of ‘us’ time you two will commit to
  • Even more important when the relationship is long distance

 

Time management for couples is very important.  Here is our advice:

  • Adjust your schedule accordingly
  • Prioritize current responsibilities
  • Reduce or eliminate some
  • Have a stand-in date night(s)
  • Integrate group activities in your schedule every now and then since time is limited and balancing your new partner with your friends may seem hard. This will also help your loved ones get to know your new partner.
  • Travel together- lets you both unwind and disconnect from everyone else

Ep 31 – Woosah & Flow

In the Date to Win episode (ep. 29) we spent a lot of time talking about accessing your mental health before you decide to give time to dating and meeting other people.  We wanted to dig further into this topic and help you navigate your own mental health journey.  

 

In this episode, we talk about:

  • Our guest’s dedication to promoting mental health awareness, especially for communities of color
  • Recommendations for those who want to change how they manage their mental health
  • Tips for seeking out therapy
    • Stigmas
    • Psychologists versus Psychiatrists versus Social Workers
    • Thinking about prescribed medication
    • Going into therapy with intentions
  • Tech tools to help you manage your mental health
    • Insight timer
    • Gratitude
    • Wobot