So I’m just going to say it- let’s stop calling things gay! In this week’s episode we look at the list of commonly held thoughts, actions, and beliefs about men that are often considered “gay” for no real good reason. We discuss how these views only feed into the toxic masculinity we want to dismantle, especially for minority men.
So first things first, let’s make sure we are all on the same page when it comes to the definition of some of the words we are discussing today.
Gay; adj. 1. of, relating to, or exhibiting sexual desire or behavior directed toward a person or persons of one’s own sex; homosexual: most commonly used to refer to a man’s sexual orientation; 2. of, indicating, or supporting homosexual interests or issues. Source: Dictionary.com
Toxic masculinity; the concept of toxic masculinity is used in psychology and gender studies to refer to certain norms of masculine behavior in North America and Europe that are associated with harm to society and to men themselves. Source: Wikipedia
What are some examples of toxic masculinity? Here are a few for your reference:
- Stereotypes that reinforce that men are socially dominate
- Sayings that give men a pass based on their gender i.e. boys will be boys
- Reinforcing that if men like feminine things or are in touch with their feminine side, they can’t possibly be straight or are considered to be “lesser men”
Our goal with this episode is to stop the nonsense of using the word “gay” as a way to describe things that are boring, make no sense, or worst- that tend to be feminine in nature. Here is a short list of the things that are not gay and that those that think otherwise, need to open their minds and challenge their deeply held beliefs:
- Men showing affection to one another i.e. hugging or crying
- Believing there’s a “gay agenda”
- Attacking/judging men for enjoying or appreciating things that are typically considered feminine i.e. flowers, wearing certain colors, caring about their appearance, getting manis, facials, etc.
- Participating in certain sports/activities i.e. gymnastics, ballet, cheer, yoga, spin
Not convinced that this is a problem? Here are some of our thoughts that show otherwise:
- Ignoring it doesn’t dismiss that fact that these types of comments not only cause damage to men but also promote anti-LGBTQ sentiments
- Its problematic enough that Wanda Sykes had a whole PSA about it:
Other than talking about it, what else can we do?
Who else has picked up on the lack of conversation and resources when it comes to sexual dysfunction that impact women? We have all heard about ED, pre-ejaculation, viagra, and can probably hold our own conversing on the topic. But when it comes to the issues that can impact women, even finding adequate information on Google becomes a challenge. Let’s do better together: let’s discuss sexual dysfunction openly; let’s listen without judgement, let’s demand more from our doctor’s, and let’s share resources amongst ourselves.
In this week’s episode we are raising awareness of sexual disorders that impact women. We will talk through some of the sexual disorders and share some of the stories that paint the picture of how little information is out there regarding sexual disorders that women can access.
According to WebMD, sexual dysfunction is common (43% of women and 31% of men report some degree of difficulty.) With so many more women reporting that they have some sort of sexual dysfunction compared to men, it is concerning that there is so little coverage and resources available. Female sexual dysfunction can occur at any stage of life so this is an issue that can impact any woman. Based on our google searches, and our own experience, the awareness levels of sexual dysfunction impacting women is abysmal. The fact that you can find the following statement online- “sexual dysfunction can occur only in certain sexual situations or in all sexual situations”- is a joke.
Here are all the crucial details you will want to know that we cover in our episode, “Let’s Talk About It.”
What causes sexual dysfunction? (From WebMD)
- Physical causes. Many physical and/or medical conditions can cause problems with sexual function. These conditions include diabetes, heart disease, neurological diseases, hormonal imbalances, menopause plus such chronic diseases as kidney disease or liver failure, and alcoholism or drug abuse. In addition, the side effects of certain medications, including some antidepressant drugs, can affect sexual desire and function.
- Psychological causes. These include work-related stress and anxiety, concern about sexual performance, marital or relationship problems, depression, feelings of guilt, or the effects of a past sexual trauma.
What sexual disorders can impact women?
- Vaginal dryness
- Low sexual desire.
- Inability to become aroused
- Anorgasmia: lack of orgasm
- Painful intercourse
- Vaginismus is a painful, involuntary spasm of the muscles that surround the vaginal entrance. It may occur in women who fear that penetration will be painful and also may stem from a sexual phobia or from a previous traumatic or painful experience.
- Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder– a common form of sexual dysfunction when women have no or low desire to have sex, and it causes distress
- MRKH Syndrome is a rare disorder where the vagina, cervix and uterus aren’t fully developed
CANCELED! Who deserves to get canceled? Is there any coming back once you’ve been canceled? Why hasn’t “X” person been cancelled yet? Join Westley, Maddie, and Lina D this week and join the cancel culture convo.
So what is cancel culture?
If you didn’t know- cancel culture refers to the phenomenon of “canceling” a person, an event, or a body of work i.e. songs, albums, movies, TV shows as a result of the person’s questionable or unpopular comments or actions.
These are some of the important questions Westley, Maddie, and Lina D talk about in the episode:
- How do we decide who gets canceled?
- Is there room for forgiveness?
- When someone is canceled, do we erase all that an artist has done including the good? i.e. the positive image of African Americans that The Cosby Show presented?
- And we debate some of the points made in this article: We Wouldn’t Need Cancel Culture if we Had Justice Culture
- If there was some assurance that real justice was possible, would cancel culture even feel necessary?
- Could we better separate the art and the artist if we could use a set of prison bars to do it?
And finally here is the article with all the details on Culture Vulture Yesjulz: Daniel Caesar Fans Are Calling Him Canceled