Westley, Lina D, and Brock want to give you useful advice for those moments when dating brings you awkward conversation. This episode is for those people that think they suck at texting, find themselves overthinking text conversations, and have no idea about proper sexting and drunk texting etiquette.
We start out by going through some basic texting principles and critiquing texting interactions that went wrong. We only focus on three examples but you can find other trainwreck conversations here.
You: Kk have a good night
Him: Haha ‘good’
Evaluation: Dude what are you doing? She was trying to end the conversation on a good note and you went on and made it awkward. This reminded us of when you should start sending “good morning vs. good afternoon vs. goodnight” texts. Timing is important but be prepared to add some value to the conversation i.e. sending a cool article or funny meme, and don’t just text a salutation because some people won’t find it flattering.
You: How’s your Saturday going? Still hungover?
Him: Nope! Just walking my dog around the park! He loves playing with the other puppies! So excited for brunch later!!!!! **emojis**
Evaluation: In this example, the woman is thinking of writing him off because he is coming off as “overly friendly” and may potentially be gay and extra. Oh please, at this point you are splitting hairs and making something out of nothing. He is simply answering your question. You better go on a date to make sure this is someone you should be really writing off.
He always sends last minute texts to make plan and/or has already cancelled on you a few times. You aren’t sure if this is someone that is genuinely busy or a potentially huge asshole.
Evaluation: This could actually go both ways and you will need to play the role of detective and pay attention to cues to make the right decision. There are guys out there that are genuinely busy given their jobs and commitments and may not know till the last minute that they are available. If you are interested and are actually available then you should go on the date to rule out whether this is someone you see yourself dating consistently. But Brock does warn that there are some general red flags to look out for, as some guys may just be trying to get in your pants and get some cheeks. Listen to get the full guide on how to deal with this situation.
The NFD co-hosts go through some other do’s and don’ts for texting.
- Don’t: Start your message with “hey beautiful,” “hey sexy,” or even worse, “hey girl.”
- Don’t: Use a stupid pickup line
- Don’t: Read too much into it
- Don’t: Not say anything
- Do: Compliment something specific about my appearance
- Do: Try to come up with something witty based off my profile, or point out shit we have in common
- Do: Ask me what I’m up to tonight/this weekend
They also touch on response timing rules, tips for keeping the conversation going, and touch on length of the texts.
Lina D does advocate for certain situations where drunk texting can be useful but she gives you a rundown of the do’s and don’ts in this situation. Brock talks about how it should depend on the state of your relationship, whether you are transitioning from flirting/dating to exclusive, considering emotional outpouring, and if you regrets things the next morning.
Sexting- oh man. For this one Brock says to make sure you keep your face out of the nudes you are sending. Lina D does not understand why some dudes are so hesitant about sending dick pics during sexting convos, especially if the woman is asking for one. Brock reveals that he never sends a dick pic, which sends Lina D on a mission to tell women to stop sending nudes if the guy is refusing to send you nudes. Brock disagrees.